WARNING SIGNS THE FANDOM HAS GONE TOO FAR!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO BIG OF A PAUL REVERE & THE RAIDERS FAN WHEN...

• You buy a three-cornered hat and staple it to your head.
• Toothpaste commercials make you think of Phil.
• You are convinced the Monkees' version of "Stepping Stone" was directly ripped off from the Raiders.
• You're thrown out of restaurants because you insist on jumping on the tabletops and doing the Pony while playing air guitar to "Ooh Poo Pah Doo".
• You name your first child Drake....even though it's a girl.
• You like to put your name on things in black electrical tape.
• You write fictional stories about your favorite Raider, casting the romantic female lead as a character uncannily like yourself.  (SmittyGirl is not commenting on that one at the moment... *blush*)
• You just KNOW the Revolutionary waistcoat is coming back in style.  It is!  It IS!!
• You think ponytails look good....on men....in frilly shirts and knee boots....
• You have a Raider jacket and you wear it....in public....a LOT.
• You can't talk to anyone without mentioning the Raiders or something Raider-related every 10 seconds.
• You host a lot of Crisco parties. *vbEEEg*
• Your college thesis was on modern philosophy... Smitty's.
• Someone speaks of the "men in their little white coats," you immediately think of the Raiders on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, wearing THEIR little white coats!
• The only shoes you'll wear are black knee boots.
• Someone comments on the Raiders' winning game and you innocently say, "I didn't know Smitty played football."
• You argue for hours over the correct pronunciation of Drake's last name.
• You drive a Volkswagen because you think they named it after Phil.
• You think that Paul owns Corning Revere Ware as a sideline business.
• On a trip to Williamsburg, you ask the Colonial re-enacters, "Where are your guitars?"
• You dislocate your hip attempting to imitate the moves for "Kicks".  (Try explaining THAT to the doc...)
• Your wardrobe consists of a LOT of black Spandex pants.
• You've attempted to turn your car into the Raider Coach.
• After failing at project listed above, you decide to save only the front half of the car and slide the piano in it. Only problem is it's a Baby Grand and it won't fit in the front part of your Volkswagen Bug!  (Someone get the hammer....)
• Your kid tells you his homework assignment is to read about Paul Revere's Midnight Ride...and you hand him the album.  "Here--Read the liner notes, Junior!"
• Your Internet Browser bar is nothing but Raider pictures.
• Your screen wallpaper is a big pin-up from 16 Magazine.
• Your screen saver is a looping clip of the Raiders cutting Mark's ponytail OR Drake and Phil dancing on the tables on Hullabaloo.
• Your Internet Favorites list is full of nothing but Raider tribute sites.
• You OWN a Raider tribute site.
• Your email address reflects your favorite member.
• You boot up your computer and at the start-up, it says, "Grab yer woman--It's Louie, Louie time!"
• Every possible action has a matching sound...culled from anything and everything Raiders, making your already unhealthy relationship with your computer that much more questionable..... (Ummm, no...that's not me....not at all...)
• You refer to the bathroom as "The Little Raiders' Room."  (Eeeeeeeewwwwww...)
• You buy the "Patriot Barbie" doll just so your customized Raider dolls can have a groupie.
• You have customized Raider dolls--Period.  (Again, SmittyGirl is not commenting....)
• Someone says something and you answer with a Raider lyric OR you start thinking in Raider lyrics.
• You collect the Paul Revere quarters.
• You're in a store, you hear a Raider song and start doing the Raiders' dance steps.
• Suddenly, everything is just "ducky".
• You see a rock group and check if their guitars are Epiphones or Vox Phantoms.
• You remember Art Raz!
• You move out of your Bel Air estate and move into a single in Colonial Williamsburg, VA!
• Your average monthly cost from E-bay purchases is more than your annual property taxes.
• Your idea of "mood music" is Alias Pink Puzz.
• Hard and Heavy With Marshmallow takes on a whole new meaning for your husband.
• Your husband voluntarily dresses like "Little Lord Fauntleroy".
• Your greatest disappointment in life is when your son says he's sold his electric guitar and decided to go to medical school.
• You take your kid to the orthodontist and demand that he make braces to correct the kid's perfect teeth!
• Your priest refuses to wear the lace dickie over his collar during confession!
• You schedule your vacations around where the Raiders are performing.
• You hear the "hit" version of a song the Raiders cover in their show and it just doesn't sound right.
• You finally broke down to get internet service because you heard that Mark Lindsay had a web page.
• You say something odd while giving a presentation and realize it's Revere shtick.
• Your other car is an Edsel.
• Conversations with most friends and co-workers all eventually have "Mark" or "Raider" in the subject someplace.
• Friends or co-workers think you are ill if the conversation doesn't eventually lead to the subjects listed above.
• Your friends/neighbors/are all trained to tell you immediately when they see Mark or the Raiders on TV or hear them being interviewed on the radio--or else!
• Your friends/neighbors/co-workers are all trained to tape the event for you when they see Mark or the Raiders on TV or hear them being interviewed on the radio--or else!
• Your friends/neighbors/co-workers are all trained to tell you when they see Mark or the Raiders on TV, featured in some obscure 1960s or 1970s music compilation, some magazine article, photo in the FBI wanted photos at their local post office, etc.
• You cry during the closing credits of Where The Action Is 'cause this means you have to wait a whole 'nother day before you can see your heroes again.
• You create lists like this!

(This list was compiled with the help of some online friends who, like me, are knee-deep in Raider fandom.)