LIFE AFTER RAIDERDOM...?

PHIL: Hi everyone and welcome to "Fang's Pangs"--The only 60's retro show that Dick Bartley and Casey Kasem can be severely jealous of... Tonight, we're straying from the usual countdown format. I asked my old buddies and bandmates to stop by and let everyone know what has happened in their lives and what they're doing now--
DRAKE: You talk too much, you know that? Yeesh...
PHIL: (a little taken aback) Ladies and gentlemen, my co-host and best friend, Drake Levin. How's it hanging, Drake?
DRAKE: What's the rating on this show? I might be able to tell you then. (bawdy laugh)
PHIL: (rolls eyes, laughs, then resumes composure) I'd say life is going pretty well for you. After BB King surrendering his supreme blues legend status to you last year, what are your plans now?
DRAKE: Before or after the Hall of Fame ceremony?
PHIL: Geez, it's only your 2nd time in there...
DRAKE: (grins proudly)
PHIL: It's a good thing there was that 60's revival...
MARK: Revival? Yessir, it's a revival! Find your rock 'n' roll roots, brethren! Hallelujah!
PHIL: I know that no one has forgotten Reverend Lindsay here...
DRAKE: Who is pastor of Our Lady of the White Go-Go Boot Bubbling Lava Lamp Double-wide Tabernacle.
MARK: You can come break bread with us anytime. There's enough of it--I'm still a bunboy in my off hours. Paul can vouch for me there. Right, Paul? (nudges Paul in side)
PAUL: (annoyed) Shhh--I'm busy! Hang on a minute! (counting dollar bills, albeit a bit greedily)
DRAKE: (whispering to Phil) Since Kicks became a worldwide franchise, he's been like like that....
PAUL: Next year, we invade China. They need rock 'n' roll....and damn good burgers. (grins)
MARK: Need buns?
PAUL: I'll call you.
MARK: Hallelujah! (moves suddenly in seat)
<<HONK!>>
PHIL: Harpo, try not to leave your horn where someone might sit on it, okay?
SMITTY: (waking from daze) Rats, someone broke my trance. Now I'll hafta start all over again. OHMM.....
HARPO: There's nowhere else I can put it--This is a tiny studio! <<HONK!>>
PAUL: Oh my ears...
PHIL: What are you doing these days, Harpo?
HARPO: Writing self-help books and tending to the rabbits on my 40 acre farm in Moosejaw.
<<HONK!>> Okay, and shining my horn.
DRAKE: (sighs) Some things never change, do they? Can't you put that thing in your pocket or something? Sit it over there! (points)
HARPO: Smitty, scoot over.
SMITTY: (locked in trance again)
PAUL: Maybe he could stand up--Smitty, stand up!
SMITTY: (awakened once more and looking disgusted) I AM standing up. (pouts)
PHIL: Don't worry about it, Smitty. Tell us what you're doing now.
SMITTY: Ah well, you know how it is.... I still plan to straighten the world out. That's why I became a guru. I figure if I can enlighten a few, then they can enlighten a few more and a few more.... You get the idea.
PHIL: What about the trascendental stuff I've heard about?
SMITTY: Oh yeah, transcendental meditation. We do that, too....along with guitar lessons.
HARPO: I have a book for that, you know.
MARK: Don't meditate--Donate! Keep those cards and letters coming in, folks! Ooh poo pah doo! Can I get an amen?
DRAKE: Can I get a Tylenol?
SMITTY: (to Harpo) Can you move that horn over? It's messing with my meditational mojo.
PAUL: Mojo? I think we have Mojo Malts on the menu...
MARK: (singing) I got my mojo workin'....
PHIL: Did I mention that he's also song leader at the Tabernacle?
DRAKE: Along with the organist, Pervisely Rancid... He's a cousin to my drummer.
SMITTY: Drummer? Cousin? What?
PAUL: You're zoning out on us over there, Smitty!
PHIL: Do you think that the Drake Levin Experience will get another Grammy this year?
DRAKE: Ooohhh.....I think there's a chance. (grins) We're also working on a new album, complete with blessings from John Lee Hooker and Rufus Thomas.
<<HONK!>>
DRAKE: ARRRGH!!! (glares at Harpo)
HARPO: It slipped! Honest!
PHIL: Now now now...We didn't come here to argue over a horn! (laughs) Just for fun, how about a little Raider reunion, huh?
MARK: (sits up attentively and also very proudly) I'M all for it.
PHIL: You got your guitar, Drake?
DRAKE: Like I leave home without it? You know me better than that. (brings guitar up from side of chair in studio and begins playing, with Smitty tapping out rhythm on the desktop)
ALL: (singing)
Seems this world has got you down,
Feeling bad vibration's round,
Open your eyes, girl, look at me,
I'm gonna show you how it ought to be,
We're gonna have a good thing, such a good thing baby.....
PHIL: That's all the time we've got this week. Join us next week when our guests will be Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr--The Threetles Beatles.....
<<HONK!>>
ALL: HARPO!!!
HARPO: WHAT?!?!